A Cup of Coco

Happiness Project: Day Three

Apologies for my absence yesterday... Dealing with the mountain of paperwork I have been putting off was seriously stressing me out- it's not completely over with, but like Gretchen Rubin, the author of The Happiness Project, says 'best is good, better is best.'

So today I'm asking myself the third question in a series of introductory questions Gretchen designed to help formulate Happiness Project Resolutions- the foundation for the project. I've answered question one here, and two, here. 

Question 3: Is there any way in which you don't feel right about your life? Do you wish you could change your job, city, family situation, or other circumstances? Are you living up to your expectations for yourself? Does your life reflect your values? (Scuse me Gretchen, that's actually 4 questions!)

Ok, let's tackle these one at a time!

- I'm struggling to identify the feeling of not "feeling right about my life." My feelings about the "rightness" of my current incarnation as a law student are somewhere between the feeling I had as an education student/ primary school teacher (pretty fish-out-of-water) and as a Kinesiology student studying anatomy and health psychology (pretty darn amazing!!) This gives rise to the obvious question- why didn't I pursue Kinesiology? I don't know... I guess it's one of those "knowledge" degrees that didn't actually lead to something specific and I was too impatient/ unimaganitive to find ways to creatively use my degree. 

- Do I wish I could change my job/ city/ family situation etc? Ummm, this is a tricky one. My current part time job (paralegal) is good experience for being a lawyer. Sydney is an amazing city. My partner is the love of my life. However; there are probably jobs out there more suitable for my personality and strengths. I miss my hometown, Toronto, Canada, and all my wonderful friends there. I'd love to be closer to my family but for us to move back to Canada would mean that Nick has to leave his gorgeous family which would be so difficult for both of us to do. 

 - Everyone goes on about success but there is a great problem with success: sometimes it sets the bar so high that it's impossible to actually live up to your expectations. I know, I know, shoot for the stars blah blah blah, but sometimes I feel like my expectations far outstrip what I'm realistically capable of. Is it possible that the anxiety resulting from constant struggle and failure is worse than what would come from slightly lowering my expectations? 

- Does my life reflect my values? Yes and no... I value education, self-improvement, and challenge. I also value my sanity. Hmmn. 

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Happiness Project: Day 2

My latest book obsession,The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin (first blogged about here) has inspired me to attempt a little happiness project of my own. Although my slightly pedantic nature would have preferred to begin such an undertaking on January 1, or even the first of the month, or even a Monday, in this instance I decided to take the bull by the horns and start my happiness project mid-week, mid-way through August. Sailing a bit close to the wind there!

Step 1 of the process, deciding which resolutions to make, involves a serious of introspective questions. Today's question is: "[w]hat makes you feel bad? What are sources of anger, irritation, boredom, frustration, or anxiety in your life?"

Well the obvious answer to that would be law school- all of the above under a magnifying glass, outside on a blisteringly hot, sunny day in Sydney. But, having made it through 2 out of 3 years, my bed is definitely made in the "I have to finish" department.

Other sources of irritation? Lingering, messy, spiralling "to do" lists...

In a perfect world, my "to do" lists would 1) exist in hard-copy, instead of swirling around in my head and 2) boast neat little check-marks as I methodically beaver my way through each item. A perfect world it is not. Sporadic bursts of energy here and there have resulted in the odd list scrawled in a notebook, although if I'm truthful, most tasks end up on the list after their completion. Who can't resist the satisfaction of crossing something off a list, even something so mundane it wasn't even on the list in the first place? Regrettably, most tasks that ever make it onto any actual lists are those about which I've spent so much time thinking that I've built up a kind of Mental Block... you know the ones- organize paperwork for tax return, find accountant for tax return, work out how to lodge a late tax return... (Ahem, having missed a couple of years, my third Australian tax return season is looming on the horizon!)

Another major source of frustration is at myself for not keeping in touch with all my friends in Canada. I miss them so much! In a classic case of letting perfect be the enemy of good, I find myself not writing the emails or making the Skype calls I promised myself I would make. I think I do this because I envisage the long emails/ conversations needed to do justice to catching up on my friends' lives and to describing my experiences in Sydney and worry that now is not the time for that perfect email or conversation. I think another side to my hesitation is sadness that that the virtual connection is not as, well, connecting as actually visiting in person. Obviously logic tells me that any level of contact is better than none, and yet I still find myself caught in the procrastination/ guilt cycle...

Having a desk job. The only thing I hate more than standing up for work all day, is sitting down at work all day. Admittedly I am currently a full time student but I had a full-time office/ desk job for four months last summer and my major summer memory is gazing through a window at the sparkling sunshine, watching the season pass me by. As the weather, especially the summer, was one of my main reasons for moving to Australia, this situation just won't do.

I'll leave it at that, but I'd love to know (because, of course, misery loves company,) do you share any of my frustrations?

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Starting Afresh or Happiness Project Day 1

After a yearlong hiatus from blogging, I've decided to embark on a new blog project. After all, I realized, it wasn't writing/ blogging I disliked per se... it was the subject matter featuring on my now defunct blog which was the problem. Writing about law school? Yawn. Solution? New blog, new ideas... out with the old in with the new!

I'm hoping to be able to make this blog an on-line scrapbook of my experiences, ideas, challenges and minor, intermittent successes as I bumble through life as a stray Canadian in Sydney, Australia. I'll admit, I've been inspired by a new book I came across recently, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. Gretchen, a former lawyer herself, has parlayed her lawyerly skills (writing, analysing, being overly detail oriented) into a career as an author, blogger, and all 'round "I love my job" kinda gal. Along with her witty personal anecdotes, the way she interweaves the literature on happiness, both popular (think Oprah, Malcolm Gladwell) and more scientific (Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, anyone?) is both interesting and inspirational.  From the many (many) books on the topic, teasing out the so-called "laws of happiness" is no small feat; however I am impressed with what I've read so far and game to try it out in my own life.

And so, as if I don't have enough homework, in the hopes of starting my own "Happiness Project"- I'm assigning myself the recommended first task of creating my own "Resolutions." (FYI, resolutions made two thirds of the way through August are much easier to keep than those made on January 1- less pressure, y'know?)

According to Gretchen, the way to decide what resolutions to make are to answer a few questions, the first of which is "What makes you feel good? What activities do you find fun, satisfying, or energizing?"

In a revolutionary moment of utter epiphany, I've come up with the start of what is sure to be the world's most unique list:

• Backpack style travel- I am so energized by the simultaneous thrill and challenge of navigating around a brand new city, meeting strangers who become friends, uncovering unexpected cultural differences, negotiating my way through various communication challenges...
• Playing team sports
• Whipping up a delicious and tasty dinner with farmer's market fresh, in season ingredients.
• Creating a comfortable, cozy apartment for me and my boyfriend. Our little piece of calm in the middle of a bustling city. To this end, I love shopping for house stuff- just not the driving to and from... wait... stay focused on the positives!

Anyhoo, a due-in-two hours practice problem is calling my name, so that will be about it for today. I'll be back tomorrow with more details of my "Happiness Project." Until then I'll be forcing myself to work on said practice problem while feeling happy to have written Blog post #1. Might make myself a warm cup of cocoa to celebrate!